Astrophil and Stella

    I watched her from afar. Not in a creepy way, I promise. Let me start over. There’s this girl: Stella. She was in my freshman writing class and she sat right in front of me. I remember the first time I ever saw her. I was sitting alone in the classroom because I got there thirty minutes early like an idiot, but what can I say? I was a freshman. So anyways, I was sitting there reading my book when I heard someone walk in. And there she was in all her beauty. Her short brown hair was done in loose curls that framed her round face. She wore round glasses and a warm smile. I can even remember what she was wearing. Overalls over a white t-shirt and a mustard yellow bandana to match her converse. It’s her favorite outfit. She wears it all the time.     

    I wanted to say hi, but something in me just couldn’t. I had never been that frozen before. So, I just smiled and she smiled back. She gave me a little wave and sat down in the seat in front of mine. I remember thinking about how she smelled like flowers and honey. When the professor called the roll, I waited and waited to hear her name, and then when I heard it, I wondered how I hadn’t known it before. Stella.  

I spent weeks admiring Stella. Just by observing her, I learned the eccentricities of her personality. Like how she drew stars on the corners of every page in her notebook and how even on days when her hair was down, she had to tuck it behind her ear. I learned that on rainy days, she always dressed extra cheery as though she could brighten up the whole world by herself. But the thing that I learned most about Stella was that she didn’t stand out. 

Of course, she stood out to me. I could pick her out almost instantly if she was in a crowd. But as far as I could tell, I was the only one. She seemed to like being one of the crowd. She didn’t like to be in the spotlight, but at the same time, she didn’t conform to what everyone else was doing. She just shone in her own way, sparkling for a few to see. 

That made me want to talk to her more. But I got way too into my own head. I’m a textbook overthinker. I thought that since I didn’t say anything that first day she walked into class I’d missed my time. And I just kept thinking and thinking that until there I was at the beginning of my junior year. I’d had five classes with Stella and I’d still never spoken a word to her. And yet, I felt as though I knew her better than some of my closest friends. 

One day, my art class was given an assignment: to paint something we admire. I knew instantly what I was going to paint. We didn’t have a class together that semester, so I had to find her some other way. I knew there was this tree on campus that she liked to lean against to study so I went there and sure enough, I found Stella. I started to go up and ask her if I could paint her, but how do you ask someone who probably views you as a stranger if you can paint them? 

So, I sat down on the grass a few feet away. And I started to sketch. And the sketch came together so I started to paint. And then I looked up and she was gone. So, I came back the next day and kept painting. And again and again, over and over until the painting was done. And the crazy thing is, she never noticed me. Not once did she look up from her book and see that I was sitting there treating her as my muse. 

Somehow, on one of the days I was painting her, I found out that she was in a play on campus. I went every single night. I would go to the concession stand, buy a pack of Milk Duds, sit in the audience, and watch Stella shine. She was the lead, the star. I saw a whole different side of her that night. That was the night she became larger-than-life to me. I was convinced that she was no mere human. She was a celebrity whom I’d built up in my own mind. 

On the last night of the play, I walked up to the concession stand and was reaching for my wallet. I hadn’t said anything but still a packet of Milk Duds was tossed onto the counter in front of me. I looked up to see a girl with silver hair and matching eyes smirking back at me. 

“How did you know I wanted Milk Duds?”

“You’ve ordered them for the past five nights. I was picking up a pattern here.”

“Right. So, two dollars then?”

“No, this one’s on the house. Gotta keep our best customer happy.”

I chuckled, “Thanks.” 

“So, what’s your name?”

“Uh-“ I was caught off guard, “Asher.”

“Cool. I’m Luna. So, Asher, are you like a theater nerd or something?”

“No, I just really like this play. It spoke to me.”

“I can tell. You walk in here every night like it’s the most important thing you’ve done all day.”

“Have you…been watching me?”

She smiled, “Yeah. Do you have a problem with it?”

“No, it’s just, I’m not used to people watching me. I usually do that.”

“Now it’s your turn, I guess.”

I nodded, “I guess so. Thanks for the Milk Duds.”

        “My pleasure.”

    I turned and walked away and as I turned over the box, I saw that Luna had inscribed her phone number on the back. I looked back at her and she gave me a wink. 

    In a way, I’m glad that I never met Stella. I had built her up to be so grand in my mind, I don’t know that she ever could have measured up. Now she’ll stay that way forever, this mystical, beautiful girl. My muse. 

    But Luna had the guts to do what I couldn’t. She said something. And boy am I glad she did. Luna is nothing like Stella. She commands attention, she’s loud, and boisterous, and unpredictable. Even if I hadn’t called Luna that night, I have a feeling that she would have found me again. She doesn’t give up easily. 

    So, in the end, Stella was the best thing that ever happened to me. She held my attention and kept me safe while I waited for Luna. And if it hadn’t been for Stella, I wouldn’t have found the love of my life. I would’ve still been just a stargazer watching my distant star.